#278: Where the Wild Things Are / High and Low / Top 5 Nostalgia Movies (Redux)
Little Sammy and the Mystery of Filmspotting Island
By Ayn Ballgame
Sammy was a little boy who loved making mischief (many would argue his acting out stemmed from Sammy’s lack of a relationship with his estranged father).
One day, young Sammy was making so much mischief around the house that his mother sent him to his room without supper (while she went to the phone to schedule another appointment with her therapists, Dr. Friedman and Dr. Jim Beam).
Alone in his room (with only his X-box, his Wii, his action figures, his Legos, his board games, his DVDs, his iPod, and his toy trucks to keep him company), Sammy sulked and moped and exclaimed, “I’m so bored!”
“Hellllllllooooo, young Sammy!” boomed a voice from out of nowhere.
“Why are you using a Jamaican accent?” boomed another voice from out of nowhere.
“It’s not a Jamaican accent! I’m trying to sound authoritative, you know, cool,” whispered voice number one.
“You sound like you’re doing a bad imitation of Punjab from Annie,” countered the other voice.
“Does Punjab even talk in that movie?” rebutted the voice from "Cool Runnings."
The booming unseen voices then began to bicker for ten minutes.
Finally, young Sammy shouted, “Who are you guys!?”
“We’re the Monsters of Filmspotting Island!” boomed the two voices in unison.
“Jinx,” whispered the invisible Jamaican.
“Filmspotting island?”
“It’s a fantastic place with no moms to make us do things, where we play all day and watch movies every night!” answered the unseen voice with the weird accent that now sounded a little like a bad Ricardo Montalbán.
“Sounds great!”
“It is great!” answered the voices.
“Can I come visit?” asked Sammy.
“Oh, hah, heavens no. You’re a rude little boy who makes too much mischief. Besides, it would be totally creepy if you were to come hang out with two much older Monsters on our island. Think of the liability.
"Ugh, creeps me out just thinking about it,” answered the more neurotic sounding voice.
“Oh,” said a disappointed Sammy. “Then why are you talking to me?”
“Because we wanted to let you know about our latest show. When we’re not playing all day and stuffing our bellies with gumdrops for dinner and Big League Chew for desert, we like to discuss the movies we watch. This week, we’re talking about Spike Jonze’s latest "Where the Wild Things Are," Akira Kurosawa’s "High and Low" and we list our Top 5 Nostalgia Movies from when were wee little Monsters just like you.”
“You just wanted to tell me about your show?” asked Sammy.
“Yeah, while you’re being punished, why not make something of it? Help your poor mom out, learn a thing or two. Way you’re headed right now, best you could hope for is to start working on your phrasing of ‘You want fries with that,” taunted the invisible Bob Marley. “I guess it could be kind of freeing knowing you’ll never have to deal with the attendant pressures of being a Rhodes Scholar.”
“I’ll show you, you jerky Filmspotting Monsters!” shouted an angry little Sammy. “I’m gonna grow up and direct awful movies just so you have to discuss them!”
“Little Uwe? Is that you?” teased the voice that didn’t sound like he came from the outskirts of Kingston.
And with that the Monsters' howling laughter began to fade away until little Sammy was once again alone in his room, a broken former shell of himself, now haunted by the prospect of his college choices.
The End
Also on the show: Music by Mittens On Strings and Massacre Theatre -- presented by Pixar Talk. This week's winner will get the Pixar DVD of their choice.
Filmspotting #278
:13-19:48 - Review: "Where the Wild Things Are"
Music: Mittens On Strings, "Lou Reed Says"
20:49-25:28 - Massacre Theatre (Winner: J. Pascal)
25:29-31:35 - Voicemail, Polls
31:36-47:20 - Kurosawa #6: "High and Low"
Music: Mittens On Strings, "Big Brother"
47:44-58:01 - New DVDs/Donations
58:02-1:17:23 - Top 5: Nostalgia Movies
1:17:24-1:21:12 - Close/Next Show/Outtake
NOTES
- Jeff Goldsmith's Creative Screenwriting Podcast can be accessed through iTunes here.